title: Imagination by Jonezetta

see i do listen to other music! this song is so fitting. perhaps i'll post the lyrics in a moment.

so i signed on the computer with the purpose of putting a blog here, but before i headed to this site i tried to get on the land of broken hearts to see if chronzerg had pmed me. he had, but i couldn't open it, so i'm thinking i need to focus on this first, then i'll read his post.

today was so confusing...kayla and i went to the mall of america but we didn't really do all that much because we were just there about two weeks ago. so i guess we had fun, but not that much you know? then while we were heading home (my dad drove, he likes to visit us on sundays) jenny called me adn asked if i wanted to go to the wilsons' house for dinner and then head out to a bible study, and you know what? it sounded like fun. oh yeah, me, thinking something that isn't a switchfoot concert, fun? am i crazy?!

i turned her down because for the first time since my dad left we're having dinner with all four of us, but it did sound inviting. i think i'd be fine hanging out with them if i didn't have to go the bible study. but who knows...i'm so desperate for church right now i don't even know what to do. marissa doesn't want to go to the upper room, kayla just downplays everything (i think she's a negative influence sometimes) so i don't really know how to go about churching myself. i really want to go somewhere though. i feel like spending this summer without church has been a waste...i haven't learned anything (okay, that's not true, but i don't feel real growth...i actually just don't know how to phrase this i guess)

i don't know what the solution is just yet...i guess i'll have to pray. *sigh* it's gonna be rough but i do think i need to talk to God.

-katie*

ps- i know i said i'd post Imagination but i just remembered that i started to talk to God last night while listening to this song:

Learning How to Die by Jon Foreman
I'm going miss you
I'm going to miss you when you're gone
She says "I love you,
I'm going to miss hearing your songs"
I said "Please
Don't talk about the end
Don't talk about how every living thing goes away"
She said "Friend,
All along thought I was learning how to take
How to bend, not how to break
How to live, not how to cry
But really I've been learning how to die
I've been learning how to die"
Hey everyone, I've got no where to go
The grave is lazy
He takes our bodies slow
And I said "Please
Don't talk about the end
Don't talk about how every living thing goes away"
I said "Friend
All along thought I was learning how to take
How to bend, not how to break
How to live, not how to cry
But really I've been learning how to die
I've been learning how to die, die, die I've been learning how to die I've been learning how to die"