title: Closer Than You Think by Fiction Family

just got the album, currently listening to one of my all time favorites, War in My Blood. essentially, if you like jon foreman's solo work, or sean watkin's nickel creek work you'll like fiction family.

i've had my sights set on the future as of late, which is of course shocking, because being a high school senior i have no business planning for the future, right?

i've actually been thinking more about when i can live on my own. not necessarily being out of college, but just the idea of living in an apartment. i love the idea, i always have, but it's so close now. so tangible. guys, i could watch embarrassing tv without anyone asking me why i'm watching it!

mmm another favorite. Betrayal. i mentioned to gihan earlier that i haven't sat down and listened to an album in quite some time. i can't quite decide why, but i find myself watching more and more tv. on a deep level i could say that it's because music is honest, and i try to relate to it and it's entirely possible that i dont' want to look at myself that closely, but i'm not sure.

music just doesn't play the same role. i love it. i miss writing more than anything, but i just...can't.

i was looking at a friend's 365 project on flickr today (where you take a picture of yourself, or something about you everyday for a year), and i felt a desire to do something of the sort. i'm not much of a photographer. i love to dabble, but it's just not a passion. i don't know, i'll have to brainstorm that. this is sure to be a eventful year, i feel as though i should be doing more to capture it. a blog a day? haha i can't even write that without at laughing at myself.

i just really miss pieces of the old me, and i feel like i need to start working on that person i'm becoming again. i dropped that off for a long time to ignore everything and called it "taking care of myself." i think i'd like to go back to feeling again.

i should sleep. goodnight all!
-katie*

"we were both drinking fiction with greedy tongues," - Please Don't Call It Love by Fiction Family

title: Challengers by The New Pornographers

discovered this band today (thank you gihan/ryan), and i'm really liking them.

so i realized today that i could have been really seriously injured yesterday. this sounds corny, but everytime i close my eyes i see part of the accident. i remember thinking when i crossed into the other lane that i was going to be hit...but i wasn't. then the owner of the fence kept saying that i should have rolled down the hill...but i didn't.

it's scary...it's a completely terrifying feeling, and my dad and sister need to stop teasing me. TOO SOON

and i liked these lyrics so here:
Challengers by The New Pornographers
We were greeting the sun
Before long
And you live with someone
I live with somebody too
Leave it there
For safe keeping
One of the west village in plains
That was the custom
Come dawn

On the walls of the day
In the shade of the sun
We wrote down
Another vision of us
We were the challengers of
The unknown
"Be safe" you say
Whatever the mess you are you mind okay
That is the custom
On down

Na-na na-na na-na na-na na-na
Na-na na-na na-na na-na na-na...

Until I see you around
Until we clear the accounts
Leave it there
Leave it to us
We are the challengers of
The unknown

Oh-la, oh-la, oh-la, oh-la
Oh-la, oh-la, oh-la, oh-la

today sucks.
i knew it would, the day gihan leaves always sucks.
but lets add to the joy, shall we?

7:30: gihan texts me to say that no one showed up for his eagle board, he's pretty upset, so i offer coffee for some support
9:30: go out for coffee, everything's fine
10:00: go out for breakfast with the family, but bring two cars because i wanted to leave early to get back to gihan
sometime during breakfast: gihan sends a text say he's leaving at 11:50 instead of 12:30, i leave a few minutes later
11:12: i hit a patch of slush going down glendale road (at only 35 mph i might add) and begin to spin out, so i over corrected and spun the other way...long story short, i hit a fence. i was shaking sooooo hard. i'm exhausted now from it. i bent up one of my wheels and i'm out of a car for about a week, but i'm okay.
between 11:12 and 12:06: gihan HAS to leave so he comes to say goodbye really quickly. while i was doing my two second goodbye, the stupid cop yelled at him for being on the shoulder even though he was leaving in a second. so the cop interrupted my goodbye, and now i dont' get to see him for another month.

now i'm just sitting here after all the nonsense, crying.

i. hate. today.
-katie*

ps- happy one year gihan, that's the only redeemable thing about today