title: Silent Sea by KT Tunstall

i'm feeling really alone. i'm feeling really frustrated. i'm feeling irritable. i'm feeling angry. i'm feeling abandoned. i'm feeling neglected. i'm feeling taken advantage of. i'm feeling like no one cares. i'm feeling hurt. and most of all i'm feeling tired.

i know the "no one cares" bit is a lie, so please please please don't contact me and go on and on about all of these people that care about me and want to help me. i get really sick of everyone taking my words for their obvious interpretation. i mean each of those thing literally. those are my feelings. feelings i should not apologize for. feeling that should not be taken personally to anyone who happens to read this.

i feel like i won't be happy again, and i feel like no one is taking care of me. part of that is my own independence. it's really hard for me to accept help. it's really REALLY hard for me to trust people, and right now i'm just tired and i want to hide away from everyone else. i feel like when i try to distract myself by helping someone else i get pushed away. i'm just fucking sick of everything.

i'm so angry. i hate being angry. i hate negative feelings but they're drowning me.

i hate this. i hate this i hate this i hate this
i want out
i want to be done

-katie*