title: Music Box by Thrice

yikes i'm confused. yesterday morning gihan got some bad news, and he's been pretty upset ever since, bouncing between disappointment, anger and sadness. at first i just let him be, but eventually it started to affect me too.

it was particularly evident at work last night. he was very quiet, and i just wasn't sure what to do. i didn't know what to say, and i was so unsure of how to handle that situation. all i could say was "i love you" and "this will be over soon" again and again.

he says he's better now, but i'm still bothered. part of it is i never really set out to love him. i thought our relationship would got for a month or two and we'd run out of things to do/talk about or get terribly annoyed with each other. none of those things have happened. part of me is bothered that i let it bother me. another part is glad i care about someone that much. overall i'm confused as to which feeling is correct...

i was trying to explain this to kayla earlier. i do NOT like him being in pain. not one bit. i do not like him being quiet. i don't like him being angry, even if it isn't with me. i do not like it, it's uncomfortable and i just dont' like the feeling. i want my gihan back.

i want to hold him.

damn...i love him don't i? like for real. that is not what i meant to do. i didn't mean for that to happen...but i really really love him...more than i originally thought.

funny how these things happpen.
-katie*